Part 01
I want to write that story
the story with no beginning
whose end I cannot know
there’s only a bit of the middle
the knots not yet untangled
the moon in the witness box
commits dastardly perjury
the stars gossip with
idle townsfolk in the bazaar
night after fucking night
the story so ordinary
like cheap clothes on sidewalk racks
flapping empty skins under a
sky muddy grey-brown
nothing big happens to anyone
no one becomes anything big
a story you see out of a bus window
someone crossing the road
someone waiting to cross
someone dead under the last
rush of a beat-up car
a step too late
a wheel too soon
just that much rain to wet your shoes
and keep you uncomfortable
the bus lurching ahead
but now through wet glass
odd smears of coloured light
and the illusion of a world still moving
everything a star, everything a moon
a story, faceless, nameless
unravelling inside itself
a story washing its dirty
parts so it can be
clean enough to tell
As I step on the bus… I just have a crazy feeling that this is going to be a wonderful ride.
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Thanks Chris…appreciate your starting from the beginning…look forward to your feedback! Hope you enjoy reading it!
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Like cheap clothes on sidewalk racks – this is brilliant.
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Thanks so much! 🙂
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Outstanding, Rajani! That first part is awash in imagery.
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Thanks so much, Sara. So glad you liked it!
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This is an outstanding write, Rajani. But then again everything you write is outstanding. This especially draws the reader with its mystery and despite the discomfort it evokes.
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Too kind, Khaya! Thanks so so much! Makes such a difference!
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This is one to be re-read occasionally. So much going on with few words that leads to wanting the rest of the stories
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Thanks so much, Joel.. a couple more posts in the series are up on seventyseveneast.wordpress.com , if you’d like to read.
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“a step too late
a wheel too soon” : yes, certainly the cause of so many unfortunate tales.
The poem takes me on a walk on a humid night through a noisy, run-down part of town. The imagery lets us see details in the most ordinary of scenes.
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Thanks so much… yes, was hoping the metaphors would do just that to describe an ordinary story… run-down too. So glad that resonated!
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Memory morphs itself into whatever it finds convenient to become. Stories become what we want them to be. Poets are unreliable narrators and that’s what we expect them to be.
Rajani is a brilliant wordsmith who can transport you into hitherto unexplored realms. Her efforts to chronicle her life and times will be closely followed by a lot of us.
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Thanks so much 🙏 I hope i can do justice to your generous words and write something meaningful.. it’s an uphill battle though…
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I did make a remark earlier but don’t see it here so say again how you write compellingly, moving the reader to think, perhaps uncomfortably, but also deeply.
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Interesting.I like the mood you have created with the images. I think you should write your story
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Thanks so much, Rall. Fingers crossed.
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“a story washing its dirty
parts so it can be
clean enough to tell”
An interesting thought. Still, I wonder if it wouldn’t be best to leave the dirty parts in. Then again, we all must tell our story in the way we choose.
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So true… not sure if this will go anywhere or if it does what it will contain. Am also curious 🙂
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The last three lines are amazing. I think there are many stories like that, and the washing them clean is also part of the ordinary progression. It makes me ask myself when do we prefer the clean stories to the dirty ones.
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Thanks Rommy. As for preferring clean stories to dirty ones, I think the person whose story it is would do so in order to cope and then there are listeners who would rather hear a clean story than deal with the other person’s dirt. If I figure out how to, I will write more about both 🙂
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Your images always astound me.
Bravo!!! Another stunner
Much💚love
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That’s very kind, thank you Gillena.
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The ending is especially excellent:
“a story washing its dirty
parts so it can be
clean enough to tell”
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Thanks so much, Shawna. 🙂
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This is a tangled piece of lovely poignant writing that does not soothe yet evokes a sense that beauty and meaning lurks somewhere amid the smallness and the sadness, if only we could find it. If only we could untangle it …
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I checked the spam folder and found your earlier comment. Thanks so much for your kind words. It means a lot when a poem resonates and the reader and poet are in the same zone. The hope is to write more, write enough to untangle it 🙂
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Beautifully breathless, Rajani. I love the mood you’ve set here. This line is exquisite – ‘the knots not yet untangled’ – and speaks volumes. So good
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Thanks so much, Ryan. It’s hard to tell a story that’s never been told, I take inspiration from all those who are able to write about their lives and find catharsis, even joy.
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Wow! No-one evokes mood and atmosphere as well as you. Or raises such deep questions.
I knew before I read your note that this must have come out of our conversation. That’s an excellent result!
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Thanks so much! This is further than I have got with several previous attempts.. so thanks for the inspiration!
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Loved this Raj ! Resonates with how I feel when it drizzles incessantly, not a down pour but doesn’t allow one to feel dry and comfy either… a certain strange discomfort !
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Thank you… evoking discomfort is a good description of this poem’s intention!
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Inspired to write this by a conversation with Rosemary Nissen-Wade, who is writing about some memorable life experiences on her blog: owntrumpet.blogspot.com Don’t know how far I will get but … yeah… watch this space!!! 🙂
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