Seems like a Shadorma kind of morning! If youโre new to the form, it is a six line poem following the 3/5/3/3/7/5 syllable count.
Give it a shot or share any micropoem using comments or Mister Linky.
(1)
evening train
for a little while
it was us
and the sun
and our words briefly touching
through the dark tunnels
(2)
in his bag
buried in a book
about birds
and fairies
a bent origami crane
that would never fly
Impressive use of form. Really enjoyed the feel of your well-chosen words.
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Thanks so much..
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I’m glad I found out about this form. Thanks for sharing.
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Most welcome.. thanks for stopping by ๐
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love these! Looked up shadorma as I didn’t know what it was. Interesting poetic form. Wiki didn’t have much info on it except that it originated in Spain. thanks for the intro.
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Thank you.. do share your poems if you give the form a shot! ๐
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Second one is so gentle, touching and sad.
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Thank you ๐
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Well, I’m a latecomer here — in every sense. Hope I’m not too late — Though I doubt my attempt at a Shadorma holds a candle to yours.
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Thank you.. it’s a challenging form.. sometimes I get lucky and the words just come! ๐
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Yeah, I love days like that, where the words just fall together. They’re far too few, though — for me, anyway.
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I liked the second one about the origami crane that can’t fly.
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Thanks Frank. ๐
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these really spoke to me. you write great finishes. the ending is the most important part.
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Thanks so much ๐
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What a wonderful slice of life in that second one. (K)
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Thank you ๐
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You make a challenging form look so easy!
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Thanks Alwi.
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Beautiful poems specially the second one ~ You bring the form to life with these lovely examples ~
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Thank you Grace.
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This is beautifully romantic with a touch of sadness. Expertly penned!
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Thanks so much Angela.
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My pleasure.
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I absolutely love this. I love the scene, the story, the characters and especially the bent origami crane. XX
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Thank you Alison. ๐
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A marvelous flow of images!
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Thank you Frank.
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My pleasure!
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Love them both, but the second is extra special, lovely.
Anna :o]
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Thanks Anna.
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These are beautiful Rajani, I love the first one especially xxx
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Thank you XT ๐
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They are both good, but I think the first is my favourite. I’ve been writing shadormas this month too. It’s a good form.
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Thanks Jane.. yes it’s a lovely form, quite challenging in the middle 3 syllable lines!
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Difficult not to make it sound contrived, I agree!
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Really love the second one. The origami crane has such a deep meaning for me, like the last one that never flew….
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Thanks Bjorn.
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Both equally wonderful, Rajani , I particularly loved:
‘…our words briefly touching
through the dark tunnels’
and
‘a bent origami crane
that would never fly’.
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Thank you Kim ๐
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it was us
and the sun
and our words briefly touching
through the dark tunnels
Beautiful!โค๏ธ
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Thanks Sanaa ๐
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Thanks for the Shadorma! I haven’t written one in several years and found this a great challenge my poetry skills! I had forgotten how it is not easy to use a 3 syllable line! This was a really great challenge!
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Thank you for participating! Yes the 3 syllable lines are quite something! Love that you wove a whole set together!
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Luv the origami crane
sticking with haiku today though
much love…
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Thanks Gillena ๐
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Ow how beautifully romantic the first one is.
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Both are incredibly beautiful, Rajani. Not sure if mine sounds like a Shadorma at all! Posted.
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Oh your shadorma sounds lovely Sumana.. thank you ๐
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How do you do that? Writing this form like your spilling honey. I have not written a shadorma in a while but have always found mine choppy. You are gifted with your words for sure!
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That’s too kind, thanks Cheryl Lynn. Thank you. The three syllables tend to be tricky, got lucky this time ๐
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You are too humble
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Love this. Especially the 2nd one. Niceโบ
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Thank you Pat ๐
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