Then the point comes when you know you can’t save
it, it will break and crumble and drown in the milk and
that last cookie, the murky outline of that inevitability
will forever remain the memory of the night it began to
end. You know I never liked this table, the stripes the
morning sun paints on the teak through the blinds, it is
better, out on the steps, less interrupted, less incomplete,
the odd crow wondering if it is welcome while you wave
a rolled newspaper over tea and biscuits, saving us from
the flies. Alone, wrapped in your old parka, I see a half-
moon dissolve in the blackened sky bowl, somewhere your
fingers hold the other piece, rain dripping off its uneven
edge. Silver swirls begin to fill the air as the light mixes,
changes, till that point when you know you can’t save it.
The idea of the rolled newspaper saving us from flies is now in my mind.
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🙂
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Oh those things that cannot be saved…beautifully written.
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Thank you Bryan.
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An experience and lofty sentiments brought to life. Even a newspaper to keep away the flies is given dignity by your write!
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Thanks so much Alwi.
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Wonderful words, and the double layer of meaning at the end…perfect.
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Thanks so much Sue.
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Touching and poignant. The moon metaphor is brilliant.
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Thanks Beverly.
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I like how the stanzas blend into each other.
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Thank you 🙂
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Where we’be all been one time or another. Love he sense of urgency in your cadence!
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Thank you Frank.
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Like most of the others, I was hooked by /the parka/ and /the blackened sky bowl/. I know several poets who have self-published, and then labored to recoup the investment. Poetry does not conjure much income though, so if the drive to publish is strong enough, pursue it. I looked into the free self-publishing, like on Amazon, but no one edits their stuff, and you get tossed into the hat with a lot of inferior, poorly presented work, So for me getting a poem or two in the dVerse published anthology each year is more than enough; belonging to a strong poetic community is exposure enough for me.
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Totally agree Glenn… you can’t do it for the money. I think we all see how hard it is for poetry to get substantial readership. Self publishing is a hard decision… haven’t got there yet!!
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“that last cookie, the murky outline of that inevitability”
“You know I never liked this table, the stripes the
morning sun paints on the teak through the blinds, it is
better, out on the steps, less interrupted, less incomplete”
Wonderful.
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Thanks Marley…
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Eloquent voice as always and a deep sense of that ‘other’ loss of which nothing is being said but everything is being said. Wonderful stuff as always.
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Thanks so much Paul.
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Like reflections…nature and a simple moment…the depth it took..
Loved this absolutely….felt something like meloncholy….
Masterful stroke…
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Thanks Sreeja 🙂
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I love the way you’ve strung beautiful words and phrases between the last cookie and an old parka, Rajani! I love the simplicity of
‘You know I never liked this table, the stripes the
morning sun paints on the teak through the blinds,…’
and the startk monochrome imagery of:
‘…I see a half-
moon dissolve in the blackened sky bowl, somewhere your
fingers hold the other piece, rain dripping off its uneven
edge.’
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Thanks so much Kim 🙂
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Terrific poem – it’s hard to put down – the last line back to the first – also love the extra beat in ‘moon dissolve in the blackened sky bowl’.
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Thanks so much Peter.
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Very beautiful meditation.
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Thank you…
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Your imagery is stunning here–all the more because it feels so full of emotive context–just beautifully done!
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Thanks so much 🙂
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Yes, competitions! Your work is superb and I’m sure will be welcomed to be published in many publications…you are so good, Rajani…good luck to you! Enjoyed this very much…your emotions and images are so impeccable.
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Thanks Gayle, that’s very kind. I’ve just about started submitting to journals… it’s a journey!!! 🙂
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Yes, and I wish you much success on yours! 🙂
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Thank you… 🙂
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Damn! That was well done. Every word and line pulled me through to the end.
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Thank you 🙂
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I love this poem – your imagery is wonderful, as is your ability to hold together the paths of single sentence direction as well as myriad images.
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Thanks Shaista…much appreciated.
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‘Alone, wrapped in your old parka, I see a half-moon dissolve in the blackened sky bowl, somewhere your fingers hold the other piece, rain dripping off its uneven edge’… that is such a poignant image!
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Thanks Sanaa 🙂
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It made me want to cry…Alone, wrapped in your old parka, I see a half-
moon dissolve in the blackened sky bowl,- it felt like much more than the cookie couldn’t be saved.
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Absolutely intended to mean that… thank you Alison! Much appreciated.
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This is so beautiful Rajani and ‘Alone, wrapped in your old parka, I see a half-moon dissolve in the blackened sky bowl, somewhere your fingers hold the other piece, rain dripping off its uneven edge’ is pure magic :o) xxx
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Thanks so much 🙂
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Stunning – as usual. The conversational tone works so well.
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Thanks so much 🙂
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Admiring the couplet with line breaks…specially like the half moon dissolving in the blackened sky bowl ~
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Thanks Grace.
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You hit the spot with these lines:
“I see a half-moon dissolve in the blackened sky bowl, somewhere your
fingers hold the other piece”
Your surreal imagery comes to life and your poem is glorious.
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Thanks so much Charlie.
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You welcome, friend.
Your writing makes me think and I love thinking. 🙂
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Ah, top class stuff Rajani – love you way you build the atmosphere and steadily develop this theme and meditative observation to its conclusion. The last two lines are especially masterful.
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Thank you Scott.
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Love this, the image of that old table and the cookies… I feel of letting go… maybe it’s the season to make such decisions.
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Maybe it is 🙂 Thanks so much Bjorn!
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Stunning, Rajani. Your dissolving moon is something else. Definitely time for you to publish a chapbook – I’d buy a copy in a heartbeat 🙂
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Too kind, Ryan. Thank you. Am going back and forth on the self publishing question…it’s a tough one, isn’t it!
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Sure is. I’m doing the same thing right now. It may be worth (as a good friend suggested to me) submitting to a few journals/competitions first – that way you can compile a book with a whole stack of published/prize winning poems included… Send me an email if you’re interested and I’ll send you the names of some journals I can recommend 🙂
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Competitions! Wow!! Will email you Ryan…thanks!
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My pleasure 🙂
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An experience brought alive
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Thank you 🙂
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Just beautiful, Rajani. “…Alone, wrapped in your old parka, I see a half- / moon dissolve in the blackened sky bowl, somewhere your / fingers hold the other piece, rain dripping off its uneven / edge…”. Wow!
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So glad you liked it, thanks Sarah 🙂
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