we wrote a poem once, he and I, pondering how truth should lie
five and a half verses, adding up to six, computing how truth should lie
we wrote in the winter, in the heat of youth, quills dipped in twilight wells,
couplets on hunger, faith and death, questioning how truth should lie
the world lay like an old jigsaw game, half its pieces lost over time,
we stripped words to fit the empty shapes, realising how truth should lie
but the wind carried the cadaverous stench of failure from fear to fear
the unspoken held its puckered nose, decrying how truth should lie
together we sat, he, the poem and I, and a moon with its silver mask,
filling days into burlap sacks of night, accepting how truth should lie
while real tomorrows switched places with refurbished yesterdays
lies showed how to frame the truth, declaring how truth should lie.
wonderful thoughts…and so apt to be presented in Ghazal form….I think I will return and read it many more times!
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Thanks so much Sreeja, that’s very kind.
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Lovely!
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Thank you.
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Such a powerfully penned poem, Rajani š especially love; “the world lay like an old jigsaw game, half its pieces lost over time, we stripped words to fit the empty shapes, realizing how truth should lie.”
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Thanks Sanaa.. happy you picked that line!!
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Well done. I especially liked this line: “while real tomorrows switched places with refurbished yesterdays”
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Thanks Susan.
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Wonderfully worked. Cleverly crafted.
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Thank you.
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Not an easy form, I find, but this works well. The repetition raises all kinds of questions for me.
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Thanks Victoria.
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Mmm. I love ghazals, and this is an excellent example.
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Thanks so much Rachel.
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I specially admire the refrain of this verse: ealising how truth should lie- Seems a fitting response to the lies we read in the media ~ Thanks for joining us ~
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Thank you Grace.
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I suppose if truth can lie then lies can truth. But words can be interpreted in many ways some looking more truthful than others.
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True..words can be manipulated and interpreted in any which way! Thanks Frank.
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I like, “filling days into burlap sacks of night”. It’s a beautiful picture,
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Thank you… thought it worked the image of hiding the truth within lies.
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Wow. This poem and the rhyme and repetition really drew me in. Well written. š
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Thanks. Glad you liked it!
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wow wow….filling days into burlap sacks of night… Marvelous!
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Thanks so much Nan.
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Well played. Tough form but you pulled it off here.
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Thanks so much Paul.
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This is wonderful!
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Thank you š
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One thing I really like about the ghazal is the development of a phrase. You’ve conveyed so much through changing a verb. I also like the anecdotal tone – it’s cosy and familiar, a shared experience.
I particularly love ‘quills dipped in twilight wells’ (wonderful sounds and imagery), ‘the unspoken held its puckered nose’, and ‘a moon with its silver mask, / filling days into burlap sacks of night’,
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Thanks so much Kim..the rhyming verb and the repetition makes it well suited to music..and ghazals sung in Hindi and Urdu are very common in the subcontinent.
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I had to look up ghazal too – and you have done it justice.
As to your theme, how true this is. Sometimes we lie to make the truth palatable…
Anna :o]
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Thank you Anna.. I find the form quite challenging, but fun to attempt.
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I love the rhythm and repetition in this, very well crafted Rajani :o)
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Thank you š
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The ghazal form is very challenging, but you acquitted yourself very well. I also like the way it starts off almost playfully and then gets more complex and even slightly melancholy or sinister as we progress.
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Thanks Marina..yes I come back to it once in a while, but it remains a challenge.
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Wow. I love this: the rhythm, the voice, the images… “filling days into burlap sacks of night”. Rich.
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Thanks Carolin. I find the ghazal form very challenging… glad you liked this attempt.
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I wasn’t familiar with the term “ghazal” so I looked it up. I tend to write in free verse most of the time, but the parameters of writing within a specific form can offer its own inspiration. Thank you for introducing me to this one.
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Most welcome.. I prefer free verse too, venture into form occasionally. Ghazals are commom in Hindi and Urdu in this part of the world, but I was tempted to attempt one or two in English after reading Agha Shahid Ali who makes it look effortless.
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Some poets and writers do manage that, don’t they? To make it look effortless. I’m not familiar with his work, but I know I’ve seen his name. I’ve just looked him up and bookmarked some pages to read later. Thank you for the recommendation.
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Hope you enjoy his work. Thanks Carolin.
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