The Trouble with Tanka-8

pacing
up and down the garden
the moon and I-
sometimes your absence follows us
sometimes it watches from the bench

*

look through the mist
the dark shapes lined up
on that fallen branch-
are they the crows we saw yesterday
or shadows left behind by the sun

*

the first raindrops-
is the sky ashen with wanting
is the earth dark with promise
did we breathe harder, did our steps quicken,
did your hand grow warmer around mine

 

Fujiwara no Teika’s Tanka Technique 8: Novel treatment – hitofushi aru tei-Using an unusual or original poetic conception.
The Trouble with Tanka-7
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13 thoughts on “The Trouble with Tanka-8

  1. All these are wonderful. They also can be read as haiku…which is what I did with the first before I realized I was reading tanka. That to me means “there is more good to follow”. LOL!
    I love tanka best of all forms, but I have to say that yours are superb. All these are so good that I wish I had written them. They have a special twist to them. Bravo.

    Liked by 1 person

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