The Trouble with Tanka-6

torrent after rushing torrent
you laugh as the cold spray
reaches for your face-
I count the warm drops
that trickle down your blushing cheeks

*

between the white burst of waves,
press your ears to the wind,
you can hear its damp cry,
how long have I travelled on this road
which has neither beginning nor end

*

the walls move closer
and closer
until all there is, is this,
an empty page and swollen words
stuck somewhere between pen and pain

Fujiwara no Teika’s Tanka Technique 6: Visual description – Miru tei- emphasising visual description and imagery with no subjective or emotive statements.
The Trouble with Tanka-5
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11 thoughts on “The Trouble with Tanka-6

  1. I like very much what you are doing with tanka, which is innovation, and not looking for a formula. Some of your previous have been slightly more intense, but to me it is like coffee, or tea, with different tastes, acidity or caffeine levels. I like these very much – was interested that you did not use the question mark. I opted for one in mine but do not like it at all!

    Apologues that some of my comments have been a bit exhuberant. I just enjoy quality!

    Liked by 1 person

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