The Trouble with Tanka-6

torrent after rushing torrent
you laugh as the cold spray
reaches for your face-
I count the warm drops
that trickle down your blushing cheeks


between the white burst of waves,
press your ears to the wind,
you can hear its damp cry,
how long have I travelled on this road
which has neither beginning nor end


the walls move closer
and closer
until all there is, is this,
an empty page and swollen words
stuck somewhere between pen and pain

Fujiwara no Teika’s Tanka Technique 6: Visual description – Miru tei- emphasising visual description and imagery with no subjective or emotive statements.
The Trouble with Tanka-5

11 thoughts on “The Trouble with Tanka-6

  1. I like very much what you are doing with tanka, which is innovation, and not looking for a formula. Some of your previous have been slightly more intense, but to me it is like coffee, or tea, with different tastes, acidity or caffeine levels. I like these very much – was interested that you did not use the question mark. I opted for one in mine but do not like it at all!

    Apologues that some of my comments have been a bit exhuberant. I just enjoy quality!

    Liked by 1 person

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