The Way

The way the tender grass welcomes the hail, even though the returning sun will only find the air smeared green with the blood from her veins. Or the way the maple drops her last leaf, her bare arms numbed by the icy winter wind. Or perhaps the way the rain gathers her skirts to tumble down the rocks, her screams unheard in the frenzy of her descent.

Does pain recoil like a defanged cobra in the face of incontrovertible truth? Of inevitable charade? Does the heart forget its angst for just a moment, feeling the tingle of its jagged edges, knowing how it felt, once, just to be alive? Does going back to that day you left, take me to the moment when the rain broke through the maple’s shade and in the wet grass, your hand reached out for mine?

little by little
the mask of day loosens
its grip on the night

Edouard_Manet_-_Luncheon_on_the_Grass_-_Google_Art_Project

 

For the haibun prompt at Dverse, asking us to describe how we relax.
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47 thoughts on “The Way

  1. This piece is brimming with beautiful melancholy; slightly sadder than mere observance; you snagged me at /the way the rain gathers her skirts to tumble down the rocks/.

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  2. Oh. Mah. Gawd. I loved this. The lurid, stormy imagery of the first paragraph, full of anguish and the bright cloudburst colors. So many unique images.

    And the second para– love how you aren’t afraid of completely abandoning yourself to abstraction and rhetorical questions here (both very risky moves) and completely, totally pull it off. Because the emotionalism is so heightened and urgent, and their phrasing so artful, these questions come across with a highly personal intensity. What also works fantastically– how you narrow in from larger, universal questions of human suffering to the particular (” Does going back to that day you left, take me to the moment when the rain broke through the maple’s shade and in the wet grass, your hand reached out for mine”) This pivot lends the (surprise) romantic element at the end a larger-than-life grandiosity, tied to the rage of nature itself. Reminds me of the scene where the lightning splits the tree in Jane Eyre.

    And the haiku is also wonderful, just wonderful. The idea of day being night’s mask– darkness being the natural state of the world and light, rather than being illuminating, being the source of illusions.

    It’s also a very interesting way to address the prompt — finding a kind of piece at the eye of a roil of emotion, knowing, perhaps, that it is all illusory anyway. (Maybe I’m interpreting it wrong, but I got a very nihilistic feel from the whole haibun)

    IS MY ENTHUSIASM COMING ACROSS?? Lol, seriously, this was right up my alley. Can’t wait to check out more of your work.

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    1. Thanks so much. Am glad the haibun resonated and I think you got it exactly the way I hoped it would come across.. Looking forward to reading your blog.. and yes your enthusiasm is contagious! Love it!

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  3. Cool take on the prompt….I could sense the deep mysteriousness and the enveloping sensations and then the grip of someone’s hand…a faith in something or someone to hang onto when needed.

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  4. It has been awhile and so good to see you here. This haibun just confirms one of the ways you are missed – your beautiful prose and descriptions of all you observe and how you observe them. Beautiful and melancholy (in a good way) haibun.

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  5. Does the heart forget its angst for just a moment,
    feeling the tingle of its jagged edges,
    knowing how it felt, once, just to be alive?

    Not easy to forget the feelings of love. Once extended, it lingers on! Great lines Thots!

    Hank

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  6. SMiLes.. fOr thouSands
    oF yeArs EaRth circles
    Sun iN perFect pAth..
    And ha.. hUmans
    doubt they
    master fate..
    first step out oF
    fear.. the rest fAlls
    as pLace iN LoVeNOW
    BesT FriEnd of ENerGy..
    FrienD iN Gravity Balance tRue..

    EarTh SinGs
    truTh
    iN DancE oF sUn..:)

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  7. Very creative imagery that is simply magical in the first paragraph coupled with the pondering and reflections in the second. A very intriguing haiku to top it off.
    Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. That was so intense it was almost painful, so sensitive that every emotion seems heightened. Your haiku suddenly brought in a new perspective – quite amazing.

    It seems almost stream of consciousness writing, and yet every piece of the puzzle, every sound and sight fits perfectly.

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