in soft chiaroscuro the moon descends, levitating in black and white,
stars tremble on the veil of dark, embellishing in black and white.
ivory dice spill from her hands, destiny mourns in the shade,
eyes turn once more to the door, lamenting in black and white.
alone he forgets to remember, alone he remembers to forget,
wayward words wallow and wilt, alliterating in black and white.
the monochrome horizon burns, hope dissolves with the mist,
reality consumes the grey, recalibrating black and white.
this night will shroud the sleeping sun, beyond the profane reach of time,
love, broken, will sew its seams, amalgamating black and white.
Love the images you created, repetition adds the echoing effect, which are very enjoyable…
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Thank you 🙂
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Beautiful use of theme.
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Thanks Luk Lei.
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“alone he forgets to remember, alone he remembers to forget…” incredible line!
Well done. 🙂
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Thank you ZQ. Appreciate your comment.
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“Destiny mourns in the shade,” this is a beautiful thought, as is your entire poem. Loved the effective use of repetition, it made the sadness of it come through.
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Thanks so much Myrna.
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Great job…I find the ghazal so tricky! This line is so profoundly thought-provoking: “alone he forgets to remember, alone he remembers to forget.”
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Thanks so much CC. … yes, I agree..the form is very challenging… I’m always worried I’ve got the tone all wrong.
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The great thing about poetry is that you can always go back and revise it! Just because you’ve published this piece on your blog, doesn’t mean that you can’t tinker with it. I tinker with my poems all the time—fine tuning, I call it!
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That’s good advice! Thank you!
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Strong and beautiful write…with hope weaved deep within.
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Thanks so much Carrie.
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Love how you’ve worked this, layer upon layer… different colors… held together by a fantastic use of repetition.
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Thank you Magaly, so glad you liked it.
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Ah, a ghazal, and very well done.
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Thank you Sherry… 🙂
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Love the form and the thread of black and white woven throughout…particularly loved the word and concept of chiaroscuro!
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Thank you Donna…
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Ivory dice spill from her hand. Yes, this is such a great, powerful image! Vivid. Nicely crafted.
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Thanks so much Matthew.
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I am such a huge fanatic of the amalgamation between black & white… I tried my hand at ghazal before & it was never a success.. so I adore this! 🙂
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Thank you Kelvin… hope to read a ghazal of yours soon… keep at it..the form teases but comes together in the end!
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I truly love the ghazal, and the tone you do it with from the start it becomes very visual… I love the thought of chiaroscuro… so very atmospheric that moment of the night.
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Thanks so much Bjorn…am glad you liked it..was quite challenging.
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When black and white have colors. This is like a painting in words.
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Thank you Totomai..
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A beautiful use of words! Enjoyed the ghazal.
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Thank you Mary…
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One of my favourite forms! I love the separation of ideas into couplets, with the unifying repetitions. This is superb.
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Thanks so much Kerry.
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I love the ghazal form, and this is a beautiful example.
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Thank you Rosemary 🙂 Glad you liked it.
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alone he forgets to remember, alone he remembers to forget,
wayward words wallow and wilt, alliterating in black and white
Sigh.. an unforgettable poem 😀
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Thanks so much Sanaa.
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The chain of thoughts really cements the idea of an unbroken night – the way the mind works when the rest of the world seems to be switched off – destiny mourns in the shade – is superb
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Thank you Jae. Appreciate your comment very much.
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Reading this I seemed to speed over the words which gave them quite a rhythmic beat. Excellent.
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Thanks so much. Glad you liked it.
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beautiful….
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Thanks Sumana..
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Was reading Meeraji today, so in the spirit of ghazal, heres’ a fragment from one of his ghazals where he plays off hope against fate:
kyuN jeetay jee himmat haareN, kyuN faryaadeN, kyuN ye pukaareN
hotay hotay ho jaae ga, aaKhir jo bhi hona hoga
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That’s the right tone and texture, isn’t it… why does it sound so clunky in English!!!
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Ghazal hasn’t done its rounds in English near as much as it has in Urdu. (Similarly the experimentation in English is far more nuanced than anything in Urdu, if only because of the volume.) Another reason could be that somehow the form itself is intrinsically suited to the language or the culture, but this one is difficult to support.
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True… cultural only to the extent of the proximity and familiarity, that it sounds strange in a new context…still Agha Shahid Ali transcends all such barriers with ease.
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Just looked up Agha Shahid Ali. Great stuff. Will be reading more of him. Thanks 🙂
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Effective use of repetition creates a beautiful echo, and I love the alliteration!
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Thank you so much… that repetition requirement makes the form really interesting to work with.
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