he pulled his trench coat closer,
kneeling on the dark promontory,
head bowed
as if in prayer;
below him the writhing sea moaned,
wrapped herself against unforgiving rock,
her damp mouth warm on his,
salt crusting on his trembling lips;
she arched again and came to him,
pushing the moon off her tulle covered face,
gathering the crystal studded sky
across her gleaming shoulders;
he cried out loud
as his fists closed
around the uncurled tresses of the night,
thrusting her away,
beseeching the wind
to numb the distance between them;
i could see him from where i stood,
his eyes never leaving the sea,
and the sea,
burying his soul in the slipping sand,
whispering promises in his ear,
calling him softly
with my eyes.
Hi thotpurge, what I got from this is that you’re the mermaid and your lover’s the prince. This is charming, I smiled through it all. Enjoyed it!
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That’s an interesting romantic take on the poem! Thanks James.
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Your imagery is sensual and fluid. Good writing, good reading,
Elizabeth
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Thanks Elizabeth
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Very romantic, passionate and agonizing.
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Thank you 🙂
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The sea is so sexy and I’ve always thought the sea and shore are in love affair with each other.
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Thanks Colleen… perhaps they are 🙂
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What a magically described scene, and I like the word ‘prayer’ in the connection to all this ‘ritual’ …
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Thanks Humbird.
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Your imagination is unexcelled… 🙂
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That’s really kind ZQ..thank you so much.
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Beautifully sensuous. Love it. I liked how you inserted yourself in the end. So good.
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Thanks Myrna, appreciate your comment.
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I feel the call of the sea strongly , every so strongly in your words! You have really set the scene and made the reader experience it. Lovely writing!
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Thank you Mary, appreciate your comment greatly.
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remarkable wealth of descriptive details.brilliant symphony of man and nature.
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Thank you Abin!
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I enjoyed the personification of the sea….a vivid portrayal of the man’s despair.
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Thank you Sherry, glad you liked it.
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Your description of the scene is so sensual…and the images you create of the sea are some of the best I have read….bringing it to life!
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Thanks so much Donna!
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Such an interesting one. I really like how this is a lot about seeing and sight… or looking in from a distance.
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Thanks Matthew. I really enjoy reading your work.
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Wow, powerful writing, thotpurge.
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Thank you Paul.
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This is a feast of personification. Yum!
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Thanks Magaly !!!
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luv the two dimensions presented: the seen and the unseen. The persona seeing observing all of the natural seen and the person him who she communicates with not expecting an answer. Of this ethereal solliloquy; my favourite line is “gathering the crystal studded sky
across her gleaming shoulders;”
have a nice Sunday
much love…
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Thanks so much Gillena, glad you liked it!!
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so tenderly written…. hits you right in the feels
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Thanks Suyash!
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Reading you is such a treat!! I love this..slow, sensual well crafted piece, thotpurge! 🙂
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Thanks so much Panchali 🙂
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Beautifully haunting 🙂
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Thank you!
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it is so beautifully descriptive…..
i haven’t read Pratibha Roy’s Yajnaseni, hope i haven’t tarnished Draupadi’s character that Vyas imagined…the poem was getting too long otherwise i could dwell on her scintillating intelligence & courageous spirit fighting injustice…remember the court scene?
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No..your poem was lovely.. I love the way you bring in mythology and Tagore into your work..I enjoyed that book because it tries to look at events from Draupadi’s point of view! And yes the court scene really is quite something…
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How beautifully you painted the scene with your words.
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Thanks Robin 🙂
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A wonderful metaphor and such rich imagery..i think perhaps he should have paid caution to the sea..
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Thanks Jae… maybe he should have!!
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Wow.. This is simply amazing… The personification of the sea, lovemaking and loss. I see “la petit mort” in the connection to the sea.
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Gorgeous.
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Thank you!
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Vividness that elevates, well written and a delight to read indeed. Warm greetings!
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Thanks so much 🙂
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This is one of the best poems I’ve ever read.
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Thank you Em 🙂
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