In a coracle of interwoven nights,
the last of the thunderstorm
is curled up like a foetus,
spent.
The last of the thunderstorm
in an iridescent veil,
counting down on her prayer beads,
Is curled up like a foetus,
a star blinking in her solitary tear,
breath snagged in the shredded clouds,
Spent,
her purple rage peeling
from the walls of the unborn sky.
you are so skilled with these poetic forms – especially like the thunder rolling up like a foetus – describes so well the last rumble (shall always think of this when next we have a storm)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Laura.. would be quite something if you are indeed reminded of these lines during the next storm! 🙂
LikeLike
I’ll let you know 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
you’ve turned a thunderstorm into a thing of beauty and wonder
LikeLike
Thank you Candy 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, just gorgeous, this image of the spent storm.
LikeLike
Thanks so much Rosemary.
LikeLike
Amazing imagery in this one–the storm counting on her prayer beads. Wow! And more!
LikeLike
Thanks so much Victoria, glad you liked it!
LikeLike
That’s beautiful. Such a lovely poetic account of the power of a storm.
LikeLike
Thank you Suzanne!
LikeLike
Milky way a fetus.. N0W
Spiraling Alive iS It.. Now
Swirling around like iT..
Is US..
Spiraling Alive is it.. Now
Universe unto itself.. sAMe
Patterns living throughOuT
Swirling around like iT..
Always moving.. dancing..
SinGinG.. Sound from THAT..
Is US
JUST IS
UniVerse WE..:)
LikeLike
Spiralling alive like it us indeed! Thanks Katie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
:)!
LikeLike
The imagery this evokes is quite moving!
LikeLike
Thank you Grace:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really a gorgeous piece. Your word choices are thoughtful and carefully planned.
LikeLike
Thanks so much. Appreciate your comment 🙂
LikeLike
Brilliant use of the form 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
LikeLike
This is a very powerful of the form. The last stanza is particularly striking.
LikeLike
Thank you Gabriella..
LikeLike
your words give so much space and vastness to the feelings…great & unique use of the form….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Sumana 🙂
LikeLike
Enthralling. Beautiful in its texture, tone and rhythm. 🙂
-HA
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Anmol 🙂
LikeLike
I too liked how you used just the one word, spent. It worked very well with the telling of the passing thunderstorm…excellent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much:)
LikeLike
nice play on the use of “foetus” and “unborn sky”. Powerful piece.
LikeLike
Thank you..am delighted you picked up on that. Appreciate your comment very much.
LikeLike
You wrote a very strong poem in its own right/write, regardless of form–hardly noticed the form secondary to the terrific wordsmithing. i, too, am amazed at how much mileage you got from “spent”. I love the elegance of the lines /a star blinking in her solitary tear/breath snagged in the shredded clouds/.
LikeLike
Thanks for the kind words Glenn..glad you liked it.
LikeLike
I specially admire that last stanza, and showing the variation with just using the one word, spent ~
You do well with poetic forms Thotpurge 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Grace.. appreciate your comment very much!
LikeLike
A beautiful piece, R. And though I’ve not always thought of writing in forms per se, when you use them I see the way they can amplify feelings… Do you have a favorite?
Peace
Michael
LikeLike
Thanks Michael. Haven’t studied poetry formally so it’s all very new and experimental for me 🙂 I think Ghazal is a beautiful form, very difficult to write but perhaps the most expressive.. I tried my had at one or two.. https://thotpurge.wordpress.com/category/ghazal-2/ Would be wonderful to hear your thoughts, whenever you have the time. Have a lovely day!
LikeLike
Gorgeous work.
LikeLike
Thanks so much:)
LikeLike
Brilliantly written Trimeric! I like this form very much …
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You really ‘aced’ the trimeric form! I especially liked how the last line of the first stanza had only ONE word & how well it worked as the first line of the final stanza. Beautifully woven lines and wordings. I love ‘purple rage.’
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Mary, very glad you liked this one. Was quite a lovely challenge.
LikeLike
O I think you did very well on this.. The form is most interesting I think, and you show how much variation it can bring. Love the use of spent…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. First thought it would be like a troiku but there the 3 haiku can be quite disconnected whereas here it has to flow together..much more of a challenge I think.
LikeLike
Indeed, that is just the challenge.. a villanelle or a pantoum has similar challenges..
LikeLike