in the morning light
sunshine trapped between its toes
footprints in the dust
***
in the morning light
darkness wrapped in salty black
waits outside my door
down the empty street
sunshine trapped between its toes
a shadow walks away
night fills the outline
of retreating memories
footprints in the dust
After I wrote this, I realized it wasn’t true to Chèvrefeuille’s Troiku form. He uses each line of the base haiku as the first line of the subsequent three. I have retained the lines in their original position to stay close to the 5-7-5 syllable count. Posting this one anyway, will try again to write a true Troiku. Linking to Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie and Imaginary Garden.
You’ve written a really stunning poem … and I like your variation of the original form .. very interesting! 🙂
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Thank you Bastet. Glad you liked it 🙂
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Welcome, and I did, very much!
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Thank you – my new verse dedicated to your creativity:
https://juleslongerstrandsofgems.wordpress.com/2015/08/26/the-moor-of-morning-for-thotpurge-8-26-s/
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Interesting! I love the idea of “salty dark.” Wait, like dark chocolate with almonds and sea salt?!?!
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That sounds yummy.. I was going for salty because of tears though… but this sounds tastier!! 🙂
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Your poem is stunning…the moments trapped in your images
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Thank you 🙂
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There is such gentleness in your words. Beautiful
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Thanks so much Bjorn 🙂
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Quite lovely! The imagery of light trapped between toes is wonderful.
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Thank you 🙂
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There is wonderful imagery in these troiku, a form I had not heard of. Very intriguing.
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Thank you Sherry.. it’s quite challenging with all the repetition!
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I like your adapted format. Nicely done
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Thank you 🙂
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I think you created a new form so you get to name it! 😉
For now I’ll just call it ‘Thotpurge’s Troiku’ (variation).
I’m a rebel when it comes to forms. New and different is good.
Thanks for visiting my post on the prompt and I hope you got to eat some tomatoes. 🙂
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Thank you… I did get tomatoes..but served inside a curry! Yum though 🙂
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Ah, but did you come up with a name for your new form? How about ‘Twixt and ‘Tween Troiku?
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That’s the name then!! Perfect 🙂 🙂
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I’m going to have to try it out now!
(You can always change the name. Just like editing. – which I don’t do much of… the artist is the creator!)
Happy to help. 🙂
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Oh great, looking forward to read your TP-troiku 🙂 Fun!
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I am honored to follow your creative form… I posted a link in your comments.
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Thanks so much Jules. Am sharing your troiku on my blog. Made my day!!!
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Always nice to meet and make new friends! 🙂
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Loved it….I think you have invented a new form. Beautiful images.
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Thank you.. it’s still chevrefeuille’s form!!! Mine was just an exception!! 🙂
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I like your near troika. and love “sunshine trapped between its toes”
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Thank you so much 🙂
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I think this is a lovely idea for poetry and I like that you used the repeating lines in the same position.
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Thank you Kerry 🙂
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Wonderful, regardless of whether it followed a given form. I was quite enchanted!
I’m deconstructing my URL because WordPress interprets URL’s as Spam, in my experience.
poetryofthenetherworld dot blogspot dot com slash 2015 slash 08 slash the-ballad-of-benjamin dot html
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Thank you Aurora..look forward to reading your blog.
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I agree. This works exceptionally well, so hang the form. 🙂
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Thank you Misky 🙂 Appreciate your comment greatly!
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Beautiful thoughts and blow adhering to exact form!
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🙂 🙂 Thank you Viv!
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Maybe it doesn’t adhere strictly to the Troiku form – but I think this resonates with a strength and clarity – that works in the way you have used the repetition.
The imagery is great – intriguing and stunning.
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Thank you so much Sasha 🙂
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What a beautiful description of day to night, loved it!!
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Thanks so much Vandana 🙂
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