shot
from
deep space,
sunlit earth
like a blue wonder;
how insignificant we are-
we who place a camera a million miles away
and we who sit at two ends of the couch and talk of the space we need to find ourselves.
(Fibonacci form, created by Gregory K.Pincus, follows the Fibonacci sequence for syllable count per line: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21….)
(Picture of the entire sunlit side of the earth taken by the NASA camera on the Dscovr satellite from a distance of 1 million miles.)
Oh WOW, what a wonderful contrast – the earth from space and the vastly larger space between two people who are talking about needing space. (Had several of those conversations myself)…….
Really this is my favorite poem that I have read of yours.
So few words, but such truth. We spend millions of dollars
trying to see things in outer space, focus on things in space;
yet we have trouble seeing (or caring to see) the person
on the other end of the couch! Bravo!
A technically and poetically beautiful piece…made me think do we seek therapy to forget our insignificance or are we so engrossed in ourselves we believe we are super significant
The form of the poem is delightful…and tempting! My thought went to Pluto and how interesting it is appearing now despite a few years ago it was even discounted as a planet but now clearly at one time it had rivers!
Thank you Bastet… that picture was simply wonderful. Fibonacci seems like fun.. though it might be really difficult to go any further with the sequence!!
Excellent! You really did a great job on the form and delivered a powerful message! Loved it 🙂
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Thank you Loredana 🙂
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I love a poem that shares its message in so many ways: in form, in word, in simile… wonderful.
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Thanks so much Magaly. I enjoy your writing.
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Ah yes we never have the space we want for anything but machines.
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You nailed the form and that ending is out of this world 😉
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Your comment made me smile.. thanks C.C. I tried going one more level to 34 syllables but it gets tricky! https://thotpurge.wordpress.com/2015/07/25/space-cousins/
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Haha, glad you found it punny 😉 With my Fibonacci I only went up to 8, so yours already seemed pretty tricky to me!!
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One of the best fibs I ever read!
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Thanks so much Rosemary, appreciate your comment greatly. Here’s another one I tried: https://thotpurge.wordpress.com/2015/07/25/space-cousins/
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I really like the Fibonacci form and your last line is perfect,
Elizabeth
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Thank you Elizabeth 🙂
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This is quite profound. The shape of the piece: rather compelling. An awesome post!
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Thank you Wendy 🙂
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Oh WOW, what a wonderful contrast – the earth from space and the vastly larger space between two people who are talking about needing space. (Had several of those conversations myself)…….
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Thanks so much Sherry 🙂
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Oh so true and a brilliant form to use for this wonderful subject!
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Thank you Donna 🙂
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I love how you wrote something with such meaning while maintaining a form. Bravo!
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Thank you Myrna 🙂
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Very, very crisp and thought provoking too – ‘the space we need to find ourselves…” Loved it!
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Thank you Scott 🙂
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Beautifully written! This is a wow for me!
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Thanks so much Audrey.
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This is brilliant!
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Thanks Purba 🙂
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A lovely Fibonacci,
ive tried the form before, I need to practise it somemore though
have a great Sunday
much love…
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Thank you Gillena 🙂
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Really this is my favorite poem that I have read of yours.
So few words, but such truth. We spend millions of dollars
trying to see things in outer space, focus on things in space;
yet we have trouble seeing (or caring to see) the person
on the other end of the couch! Bravo!
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Thank you Mary 🙂
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That ending is quite thought provoking. It was built up very nicely, the poem. 🙂
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Thanks Vinay 🙂
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Oh I love it! Such a beautiful form and you have executed it so well 😀
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Thanks Sanaa 😀
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That was quite an ending – how you played with the word “space”. But isn’t the latest discovery amazing?
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Thanks Totomai.. yes it’s amazing also to imagine how much more there is out there that we know nothing of!!
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A technically and poetically beautiful piece…made me think do we seek therapy to forget our insignificance or are we so engrossed in ourselves we believe we are super significant
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Thank you Jae Rose. A bit of both probably… unable to comprehend our role in the larger scheme of things.
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what an ending – so easily slotted into deep space ponderings. Brilliant
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Thank you Laura.
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The form of the poem is delightful…and tempting! My thought went to Pluto and how interesting it is appearing now despite a few years ago it was even discounted as a planet but now clearly at one time it had rivers!
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Thank you Oldegg… yes poor Pluto will probably become a “planet” again after being cruelly ostracised!
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blue wonder indeed…love your form and the final line master stroke…
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Thank you Sumana 🙂
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Perfect TP. Really. Thank you for this gift ❤
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Thanks Christy… so beautiful from a distance she is.. just like so many others 🙂
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love your fibonacci – a great subject choice!
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Thank you Bastet… that picture was simply wonderful. Fibonacci seems like fun.. though it might be really difficult to go any further with the sequence!!
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I know, I’ve done a few in my time … you did a good job here!
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Thank you.. read your fibonaccis…you do make them look effortless!
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Oh fantastic – thanks a lot!
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You worked that form beautifully! Wow!
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Thank you Mama Zen 🙂
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Ooh, what a fantastic ending!!!
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Thank you, appreciate your comment 🙂
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