Paloma at Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie has a super prompt for a form called “Elfje”:
Line 1: 1 word (Color or feature – the atmosphere of the poem)
Line 2: 2 words (Something/someone with the color/feature in line one)
Line 3: 3 words (More information about the person/ object in line two)
Line 4: 4 words (The poet in relation to the object in line 2– a conclusion)
Line 5: 1 word (The “bomb” or “essence” of the poem)
subtle
lotus buds
in yogic postures
I feel their breath
“Om”
I tried to write the “same” poem in Shadorma form- (a non-rhyming six-liner in 3/5/3/3/7/5 syllables)
sonorous
reverberation,
lotus buds
breathe slowly;
chanting in yogic postures
Filling the soul. “Om.”
And as a standard 5-7-5 haiku
lotus buds exhale
chanting in yogic postures
the soul fills with “Om”
How much of the poem/image is constrained by the limits of a form or possibly enhanced? Which do you think works?
Simply wonderful! I like your adventure (being shared) in different styles. Although I do exercise them in my writing group I am still searching for “my style” 🙂
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Thank you ZQ… that’s so interesting. Am wondering how to actually discover one’s “style” and then develop it…something to think about!
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I like all three. The 11 word one is like a bell to ring. The other two have more spaciousness inside of them. You have written each cleverly to make full use of what the form offers.
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Thank you Susan.. it was such a fun exercise. Appreciate your taking the time to review all the forms. Love your comment on the 11 word – “bell to ring”!
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All three convey slightly different meanings. The first held the most for me.
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Thank you.. I agree, they do present slightly different flavours, to accommodate the rules of each form.
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Interesting. Edifying. A pleasure to read. Awesome post!
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Thank you Wendy.. it was a lot of fun to experiment.
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That seems like a lot of fun!
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Thank you Oldegg..
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All 3 are lovely meditations, beautiful imagery of the lotus 🙂
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Thanks so much Loredana..
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I really loved the first one…wonderful images….a great experiment.
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Thank you Donna 🙂
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I think all 3 work and I find it interesting that you have 3 om’s very symbolic..I feel the first one a bit more as saying om is about breathing and the vibration of the sound as it is felt.
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Thank you … am glad it worked!!
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Love the experiment for that they say the same, but yet entirely different.. so very interesting.
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Thank you Björn 🙂
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Interesting to see how small changes can make a lot of differences. I think I prefer the first one.
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Thank you Gabriella. Yes was interesting..maybe it would have been different if I’d written the haiku first and then the other two forms! Was fun!
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all the forms work wonders. but best was the elfje 🙂 I could imagine the yogis. 🙂
Leo @ I Rhyme Without Reason.
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Thanks Vinay 🙂
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I love the first one, it is very peaceful.
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Thank you Sherry 🙂
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fabulous experimentation – the elfje has tremendous punch
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Thanks so much Laura 🙂
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love them all but the first one most…
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Thank you Sumana 🙂
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om………….whole universe in it.
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Such a peaceful and tranquil piece 🙂
Beautifully penned!
Lots of love,
Sanaa
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Thank you so much Sanaa 🙂
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Very nice! Your three poems show so nicely what can be done with a concept. My favorite of the set is the simple haiku.
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Thank you Mary…it was a very interesting exercise indeed!
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I like your elfje best, though all have their own appeal.
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Thank you Rosemary.
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What a wonderful meditation on meditation – all worked for me and most importantly made me smile 🙂
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Thank you Jae Rose .. glad they brought a smile!
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Actually I like the first one,
the subtlety and simplicity and ending on the one
word – the omn leading into mdediation.
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Thank you… glad it worked!
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the first is absolutely stunning. song of the lotus. wow
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Thank you totomai 🙂
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I like them all, but I absolutely LOVE the first one best 🙂
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Thank you C.C. … was a fun challenge!
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I feel the first one best. they are all super!
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Thank you Candy 🙂
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