Paloma at Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie has a super prompt for a form called “Elfje”:

Line 1:     1 word (Color or feature – the atmosphere of the poem)
Line 2:     2 words (Something/someone with the color/feature in line one)
Line 3:     3 words (More information about the person/ object in line two)
Line 4:     4 words (The poet in relation to the object in line 2– a conclusion)
Line 5:     1 word (The “bomb” or “essence” of the poem)

lotus buds
in yogic postures
I feel their breath

I tried to write the “same” poem in Shadorma form- (a non-rhyming six-liner in 3/5/3/3/7/5 syllables)

lotus buds
breathe slowly;
chanting in yogic postures
Filling the soul. “Om.”

And as a standard 5-7-5 haiku

lotus buds exhale
chanting in yogic postures
the soul fills with “Om”

How much of the poem/image is constrained by the limits of a form or possibly enhanced? Which do you think works?

05/07/15:  Linked to Poets United

45 thoughts on “Om

  1. I like all three. The 11 word one is like a bell to ring. The other two have more spaciousness inside of them. You have written each cleverly to make full use of what the form offers.


    1. Thank you Susan.. it was such a fun exercise. Appreciate your taking the time to review all the forms. Love your comment on the 11 word – “bell to ring”!


  2. I think all 3 work and I find it interesting that you have 3 om’s very symbolic..I feel the first one a bit more as saying om is about breathing and the vibration of the sound as it is felt.


    1. Thank you Gabriella. Yes was interesting..maybe it would have been different if I’d written the haiku first and then the other two forms! Was fun!


  3. Actually I like the first one,
    the subtlety and simplicity and ending on the one
    word – the omn leading into mdediation.


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