Brush Strokes

Responding to the Haiga prompt Carpe Diem #683, Brush , came up with three different “brush strokes”.  Which one works best?
(1)
unfinished portrait
gathers dust in the attic
brushes caked with lies

(2)
the cool morning breeze
that brushes your tear-stained cheek
scorns the pink lilies

(3)
the fire of first love
I carry bitter-sweet scars
a brief brush with life

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10 thoughts on “Brush Strokes

  1. An interesting question – a difficult choice!
    Each one is a much larger story captured in three lines.

    The second one is perhaps strongest (to me) in capturing that brief haiku-moment. But the unfinished portrait is strongest in capturing sensory images – I can smell the dust, feel the dry heat of the attic. So — perhaps #2, with #1 a close second?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Interesting – and Jen’s comment very interesting too. Without a doubt, in my opinion, #1 is the best, and is an amazing haiku – it would look great ‘standing alone.’ I think it is one of the nest haiku I have seen in a while.
    Your other two are nice, and are poetic. I am not too sure about tears in a haiku, and #1 is so wonderfully done in so many ways it is hard to see how it could be challenged.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hamish…thank you so much for you very generous comment. Your point on “tears” in a haiku is very interesting. I’d love to understand more on that viewpoint. Is it because of the negativity of the emotion?

      Like

      1. Hi – just an opinion! I think tars are a ”device” and perhaps more about the poet than the haiku. Of course there is no rule about that whatsoever, just I see haiku more about nature and the surroundings, and maybe hor the haiku poet reacts to those surroundings here and now, though haiku has no time. I think negativity is fine, not sure if emotion is…strange of me, I know, just think a haiku is up to each reader to interpret – of course I suppose all poetry is..still… I alo think if tear could be ”shown” as dew drops or rain, that is also effective. If I wanted to refer to a wonderful haiku to try to explain all that, I would not go far, and point to your first one!

        Liked by 1 person

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