Brush Strokes

Responding to the Haiga prompt Carpe Diem #683, Brush , came up with three different “brush strokes”.  Which one works best?
unfinished portrait
gathers dust in the attic
brushes caked with lies

the cool morning breeze
that brushes your tear-stained cheek
scorns the pink lilies

the fire of first love
I carry bitter-sweet scars
a brief brush with life


10 thoughts on “Brush Strokes

  1. An interesting question – a difficult choice!
    Each one is a much larger story captured in three lines.

    The second one is perhaps strongest (to me) in capturing that brief haiku-moment. But the unfinished portrait is strongest in capturing sensory images – I can smell the dust, feel the dry heat of the attic. So — perhaps #2, with #1 a close second?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Interesting – and Jen’s comment very interesting too. Without a doubt, in my opinion, #1 is the best, and is an amazing haiku – it would look great ‘standing alone.’ I think it is one of the nest haiku I have seen in a while.
    Your other two are nice, and are poetic. I am not too sure about tears in a haiku, and #1 is so wonderfully done in so many ways it is hard to see how it could be challenged.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hamish…thank you so much for you very generous comment. Your point on “tears” in a haiku is very interesting. I’d love to understand more on that viewpoint. Is it because of the negativity of the emotion?


      1. Hi – just an opinion! I think tars are a ”device” and perhaps more about the poet than the haiku. Of course there is no rule about that whatsoever, just I see haiku more about nature and the surroundings, and maybe hor the haiku poet reacts to those surroundings here and now, though haiku has no time. I think negativity is fine, not sure if emotion is…strange of me, I know, just think a haiku is up to each reader to interpret – of course I suppose all poetry is..still… I alo think if tear could be ”shown” as dew drops or rain, that is also effective. If I wanted to refer to a wonderful haiku to try to explain all that, I would not go far, and point to your first one!

        Liked by 1 person

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