he brought them back home,
the flaming sun in an orange basket,
a blanket of cloud over its head;
tracing the edge of the Vembanad,
the withering day broken
into twelve gasping fish
that flapped against his bony legs,
to the rhythm of the yellow waves;
a black arrow
was leading the way,
his net still caught on the left wing
of the slowest cormorant;
in shimmering sheets,
the wind paused to watch,
silent, afraid the
saffron dusk would shatter.
soon smells and sounds
would rush about,
would blacken the fish,
turn on the stars;
swallow the lake,
and scatter the birds;
leaving them like macabre stains
upon the ghoulish trees;
rocking to the last hum
of his plaintive love song,
the indifferent night
sketching the outline,
with a moon-tipped pen,
of tomorrow’s form
taking a ragged breath
under the sleeping water.
I love this. Very real and earthy, at the same time as having the feel of a legendary tale.
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Thank you Rosemary 🙂
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Beautiful writing, wonderful poem. I love dusk and you do it so well,
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com
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Thank you Elizabeth. Glad you liked it.
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What a thrilling scene you have painted here – so powerfully – with your pen.
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Thank you Wendy 🙂
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I love “a moon-tipped pen”–that is such a glorious image 🙂
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Thanks CC..glad you liked it…
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Well penned dipped in poetic talent. 🙂
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Thanks so much ZQ
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Beautifully weaved 🙂
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Thanks Purba..
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‘moon tipped pen’ that phrase shines though… very well composed poem
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Thanks Suyash.
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Gorgeous poem…love the ‘saffron dusk’….and the ‘moon-tipped pen’ sketching the outlines..Oh, this is so so beautiful, thotpurge!
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Thanks so much Panchali !!
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every word is so alive with beauty…my favorite is the “…moon tipped pen”…
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Thanks so much Sumana…that part of Kerala is extremely green, beautiful and inspiring.
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I love the moon-tipped pen and the sleeping water. Such lush imagery in this poem. So serene.
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Thank you Sherry…glad you liked it.
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I agree…your images are always rich and delightful and this poem is especially laden with incredible ones from the start…
‘the flaming sun in an orange basket,
a blanket of cloud over its head’
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Thanks so much Donna…
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What a wonderful adventure he had…your descriptions of dusk were amazing.
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Thank you Mary…
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This reads so much like a traditional epic adventure of long gone pagan gods and heroes, conjuring up images of struggles and conquests and losses too.
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Love where the poem took you…thanks so much 🙂
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I think my favourite image was moon-tipped pen also – had a vision of the words of this poem flowing out of it – because it really is quite magical 🙂
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Thank you Jae 🙂
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Moon-lipped pen. Who would have guessed? Quite a word tour.
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Moon-tipped but that might work too! Thank you 🙂
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sketching the outline,
with a moon-tipped pen,
of tomorrow’s form
taking a ragged breath
under the sleeping water.
Beautiful lines 😀
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Thanks so much Sanaa.
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It’s a delight to read your phrasing and word choices. I can feel the weight of the night settling.. The birds there, invisible and waiting.
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Thanks Bjorn.. it is an old poem but I did make a few changes. Glad you liked it. 🙂
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