When you can’t tell
what remains of me,
from the earth
or the ocean floor;
When my voice is scrubbed
from the itinerant air,
that light can paint
my image no more;
When the mist
that brushed my weary face,
has washed its hands
in the bowl of the sky;
the rain that cooled
the feel of your skin,
has patted its
pearly droplets dry;
When you can’t tell
what once was me,
when it seems
I was just a dream;
I won’t live, trapped
in your memory,
you see, love too
could have never been.
Your beautiful metaphors paint poignant pictures here.
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Thank you Lynn…
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The imagery is beautiful. I love how you’ve personified the mist and rain. Very dreamy. 🙂
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Thanks very much 🙂
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Beautifully done, eloquent indeed. Hard to imagine – for me anyway – that one day I will even cease to be a memory… so I live for today.
Anna :o]
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Thanks Anna…true, we have to live in the present!
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Very beautiful. I especially love the mist washing its hands in the bowl of the sky. Gorgeous.
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Thank you Sherry. Am glad you liked it 🙂
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Really a nice fluent flow
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Thank you Hamish 🙂
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An intriguing piece for sure; thoughtful & fatalistic & dark, & yet void of despair, as you help us to see that at some point our husk will return to the elemental state–but I do hope, & believe that the person we are/were will be carried in the hearts & minds of those who knew us, loved or hated us–& our spiritual adventure on the other side of the veil should not be overlooked.
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Thanks so much Glenn… I like the way you said both people who loved AND hated us will remember who we were 🙂
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Wonderful.. I especially liked the middle stanza and the lines that the mist has washed its face.
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Thank you… I read your quote from E.E. Cummings and felt the poem fitted your post.. though it didn’t meet the comical mixed-metaphor requirement of the prompt!!
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you wove this nicely – no loading you consciousness to RAM eh ?
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More of a complete disk format 🙂
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at 65, i feel at times ‘enough is enough’ and at others like ‘i’m just starting’ so while i can quite empathise with what you express so eloquently, until one breathes that last breath hopefully one will live, love and laugh side by side with the tears and sufferings to be endured. as for my remains they’re going to an anatomy lab, so thereafter shall i be forgotten forever…
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